Hermione's Laws
by L. Dora Willows
Summary: Ever heard of Murphy's Laws? Where the basic philosophy is Anything that can go wrong, will, and even if it can't go wrong, it will anyway.? Well, this is a series of oneshots in which Murphy's Laws are adapted to become Hermione's Laws. HPGW RWHG
1. Hermione's Laws

**HERMIONE'S LAWS**

Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is the minute they find someone else.

Nothing is as easy as it looks.

Everything takes longer than you think.

Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then.

If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.

If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.

Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

The day you forget your umbrella is the day it pours rain

Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.

Every solution breeds new problems.

Enough research will tend to support your theory.

Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse.

Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value

Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.

We don't know one millionth of one percent about anything.

Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know who wrote the book or even what book.

After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done.

If you can't understand it, it is intuitively obvious.

Work smarder and not harder and be careful of yor speling.

When all else fails, read the instructions.

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

All the good ones are taken.

Every kind action has a not-so-kind reaction.

Nice guys(girls) finish last.

The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them.


	2. Availability is a Function of Time

**HERMIONE'S LAWS**

**NUMBER ONE: AVAILABILITY IS A FUNCTION OF TIME. THE MINUTE YOU GET INTERESTED IS THE MINUTE THEY FIND SOMEONE ELSE**

Ron scowled, slumping in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest. Through narrowed eyes, he watched as Hermione and Victor Krum danced gleefully.

"Bloody git," he mumbled.

Victor Krum was dancing with one of his best friends. But that shouldn't matter, right? Would he be feeling this jeal –no, no NOT jealous. Perhaps a better word would be … protective. Yes, that was it. Would he be feeling this _protective_ if it were _Harry_ who was dancing with Krum? Okay…perhaps that wasn't the best example.

Shouldn't he be happy? His best friend and his all-time Quidditch idol? He should be thinking about how great this was. About how she could introduce the pair of them, and he and Krum could become best mates.

He should … but he wasn't.

For Ron Weasley wasn't associating Victor Krum with a lifetime of friendship at the moment. Far from it. After all, you don't want to rip off the arms of your best friend, now do you?

Well, he couldn't blame Krum. He certainly had great taste in girls. And Hermione certainly looked beautiful…

_Where did _that _come from?_ Ron wondered, shifting in his seat so he could continue to watch the happy couple, _Since when do I think of _Hermione _as beautiful?_

"Aren't you going to ask me to dance?" Padma Patil asked.

"No." Ron replied shortly, turning his back on her and returning to his _very _confused thoughts.

If he was starting to think of _Hermione_ as beautiful … could that mean the unthinkable? Could it mean that he was starting to have feelings beyond friendship for her?

_Well, this sure does make my life a whole lot easier,_ Ron thought sarcastically, _I've already got worries about my best mate dying in this tournament, and now I've got this weird feelings for my other best friend to deal with._

It was apparent Hermione didn't have feelings for him, if she did why would she be dancing with Krum?

But had she, once?

Ron thought back to a day in his third year.

…

"_So," said Seamus conversationally, taking a huge bite out of a chocolate frog and tossing the card aside, "When do you plan on asking Hermione out, eh?"_

_Neville and Dean both turned to face him expectantly._

"_Wh-what?" Ron spluttered, choking on the sugar quill he had been sucking on, "Why would I ask her out?"_

_The other three exchanged knowing looks. _

"_Ron," said Dean slowly, "Have you not noticed how she feels about you? Are you truly _that_ thick?"_

"_Hey!" said Ron indignantly. "I don't like Hermione that way, alright? And she doesn't feel that way about me either! Neville, you believe me, don't you?"_

_Neville flushed, and said nervously, "W-well, Ron. It _is_ pretty obvious…" he trailed off at Ron's glare._

"_Look," said Ron, his voice rising an octave. "Even if Hermione _did _feel that way about me, _which she doesn't_," he added hurriedly, "It wouldn't matter, because I don't feel the same._

_Seamus and Dean smirked. They were not convinced. _

"_Sure, mate, whatever you say…" said Seamus teasingly._

"_Drop it!" said Ron hotly, and turned away._

_The four of them looked up as Harry entered the room._

"_What are you guys talking about?" he asked._

_Ron shot the other three a warning look._

"_Nothing," they all chorused sullenly._

…

It figured. When Ron finally realized he liked Hermione, she found someone else. But this was something only he and the missing arm of Victor Krum knew.


	3. The Day You Forget Your Umbrella

**HERMIONE'S LAWS**

**NUMBER TWO: THE DAY YOU FORGET YOUR UMBRELLA IS THE DAY IT POURS RAIN**

**Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who reviewed **

Harry was taking a walk out by the Black Lake, hoping some exercise would clear his cluttered mind.

_I really need a pensive_, he thought bitterly.

It figured. He'd taken nearly six years to notice Ginny Weasley was not just Ron's little sister, but a beautiful girl with determination and a mind of her own. No longer was she the young child who hero-worshiped him, and blushed as brightly as her hair when in his presence. According to Hermione, she had 'given up on him.' And now he had missed his chance.

In contrast to his sour mood, the sun was shining brightly, and there was not a cloud in the sky.

Yes, it would figure that the excellent weather would taunt him in such ways.

However, what was taunting him more than the beautiful weather was the image in his mind of Dean and Ginny in that deserted corridor, snogging.

"Guess it would be a good time to learn Occlumency," muttered Harry darkly, and then raised his head to the skies and asked "What have I done to deserve this?"

The sun was shining, the birds were singing, but what was that? A raindrop, falling into his outstretched palm.

_It's just one raindrop,_ Harry assured himself, _Ignore it, probably a fluke_.

It then began to pour.

Harry stood in the rain, his dark wet hair dripping into his green eyes. It would figure that the day he hadn't an umbrella, the skies opened up their fury upon him.

"Need an umbrella?" a soft voice asked him.

Harry turned to see a curtain of red hair hunched underneath a dark blue umbrella.

Ginny brushed her hair out of her eyes, and beckoned him to join her. Harry complied, glad to be out of the rain.

"Thanks," he said sheepishly, accepting the towel she had handed him and drying himself.

"So," asked Ginny, "Why were you out in the rain instead of in the Common Room, sitting in front of the warm fire?"

He eyed her critically. "I could ask the same of you," he retorted, unable to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

A look of hurt registered behind Ginny's eyes. "Oh, that's nice," she said coldly. "If you must know, I saw you through the Common Room window and thought you could do with some shelter from the downpour."

"Oh…" said Harry awkwardly.

"Well, you got your answer, how about mine?" Ginny said, beginning to walk and motioning for him to follow her, which he did.

"Well…" he began, unsure what to say.

_Thinking about you?_

_Fantasizing about strangling Dean. Why? Oh because I've finally realized I fancy you. Funny, huh?_

"Taking a walk," he answered, averting her curious gaze, "The rain kind of snuck up on me."

"Yes, things tend to do that, don't they?" Ginny responded cryptically.

"W-what do you mean by that?" Harry asked.

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Nothing."

"Er…alright then…" Harry dropped the subject. "So how are your OWL studies going?" he asked, attempting to make conversation.

"Fine."

"Just fine?"

"Yes, Harry. They're _fine_!" Ginny howled in frustration, and turned away from him so that he would not see the tears streaming down her freckled cheeks.

Harry, however, heard the despair in her voice.

"Ginny…" he said cautiously, "Are you okay?"

"Yes," she answered stoutly, still with her back to him.

"Are you _sure_?" They seemed to be a broken record, going through the same conversation over and over, almost as though they were reading from a script from a movie titled The Twisted Life of Harry Potter, Who Had a Chance but Blew it Because He Was Blind to the World Around Him…not that anyone would _see _a movie with a title that long…

"You know, Harry," said Ginny stiffly, "I could ask you the same question…"

_Once again, the same conversation_, Harry thought. Then he processed what she had said.

"W-what?" he asked, taken aback.

"You've all but ignored me for the past few weeks!" she shouted. He recoiled, backing away and putting his hands up defensively.

"Ever since…" she began sharply, but then stopped and stared at himand continued, but in a more gentle tone. A tone of dawning comprehension. "Ever since you and Ron caught me and Dean snogging!"

"Y-you don't know what you're _talking_ about!" Harry spluttered.

_How did she figure out that one?_

"I think I do!" Ginny exclaimed. "Harry, listen. Since you're obviously not going to take the first step and endanger yourself, _I'll_ do it." She took a deep breath, cheeks blazing and eyes dark and nervous.

"I still like you," she admitted. Harry inhaled sharply, heart racing, and she continued. "Hermione kept telling me to act myself around you, let you see me for who I really was, y'know? Well, I took her advice. I never really gave up on you, just … gave you some time. I tried dating other boys, and it was alright. But it was you who was on my mind the entire time, Harry." She stood in front of him, breathing heavily and eyes darting nervously.

Silence.

"Say something!" she demanded.

He didn't say anything, yet told her everything he had kept bottled up since the beginning of the year. He explained everything with one simple kiss.


End file.
